Security Clause is Coming Around
| #021 | EXPRESSION > humor > holiday | 324 words |
As he sat at his computer one Christmas Eve, a father propped his precocious young son on his lap. “You ready to learn this song with me?”
“Yep,” came the boy’s enthusiastic reply.
The son listened intently as his father began to sing: “You better watch out, you better not cry. You better not—”
“Why?”
“I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town.”
“Sounds like the boogieman.”
“‘Boogieman’? No, Santa is a good guy. Now listen to the song.”
“Okay.”
“He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice. He’s gonna find out whose naughty or nice. San—“
“Where he get this list? From the NSA?”
“What?!”
“He work for the NSA?”
“No!”
“Or NSA work for him?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why he gotta have me on some list?”
“Son, it’s just a song.”
“I don’t know if I should trust a guy who keeps a list on everybody.”
“Son, let me continue with the song.”
“Uh, okay.”
“He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be—”
“How he know?” His son then peers into the computer screen. “He peeking at us through our computers, our phones, our security cameras?”
“What?!”
“I hear they can do that now. Take control of our devices.”
“Where you gettin’ all this stuff?”
“I don’t know if I’d want some old white guy who never shaves invading our privacy.”
“What in the world?!”
“I don’t wanna be stared at when I’m sleeping, or when I’m awake. Creepy guy!”
“Son, like I said, it’s just a song.”
“Who’s he to say what’s good or bad for all peoples? Nobody’s perfect, but does that mean we all gotta be profiled?”
“Oh, forget it already!”
“We should stare at him, make sure he’s being nice….”
As his son rambled on, the father facepalmed himself repeatedly. And Christmas for him was never the same.
