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Introducing Value Relating, a pioneering psychosocial support service

840 words

"It's not your fault" is not only a memorable line from Good Will Hunting, it could serve as the motto for Value Relating, this new kind of social support service.

Sound familiar?

“You never listen to me!” she bursts in outrage. “You always got your thick head stuck in that stupid video game.” In other words, she has needs not being respected as expected.

“You’re exactly right, dear. After working all day for my ill-tempered boss, there’s nothing better I’d like to do than come home and be yelled at by you.” Sarcasm?

We need each other. Yet we often take each other for granted. We manipulate each other, perhaps unknowingly. We feel frustrated by unrealized expectations, then get irate.

In short, we frequently relate poorly to each other. We relate what we value from each other more than our value to each other.

What is value relating?

Most support services treat you the individual. Your physician treats your individual body. Counselors typically help you make personal adjustments. Lawyers support you as an individual against others.

Maybe the problem has less to do with you, or with them. Perhaps the problem can be located in the normal miscommunication between you and others out there. Rather than finding fault in individuals or in some group, we could relate better to the value between each other.

Who helps you take on the world? It’s easy to turn negative when expected to make it on your own. Who helps you take on forces beyond your control?

That’s exactly what Value Relating is created to do. We treat your neglected psychosocial needs, and theirs. We help you relate better to the value you mean to others, and help them relate better to the value you mean to them.

The “value relating” of Value Relating pivots our focus. We shift from the negativity in personal over-responsibility to relate more positively toward our shared needs with each other.

First, let’s look at how we are using the term “value” and “relating.” There’s nothing like having different definitions to muddy the waters. You’re likely to get much more out of this site if you can appreciate our specific use of these terms separately, and together.

Value = responding to need

By value we mean “responding to need.” The more respect I demonstrate to your needs the more valuable I am to you. The less responsive I am to your needs the less value I am to you.

  • We value clean water because we need clean water. We would not value clean water if our lives did not require it.

  • We value our free time because we need time to ourselves. We would not value our free time as much if solitude proved unnecessary.

  • We value our loved ones because we need them in our otherwise lonely lives. We generally do not value others, at least not as much, who we perceive as nonessential to our lives.

What we value expresses what or who we need.

Relating = knowing each other

By relating we mean “knowing each other.” This spans from deeply encountering each other to barely recognizing each other. From bonding emotionally with each other to remaining as complete strangers to each other.

  • We relate to what others may specifically need of us, instead of objectifying them as only serving our needs.

  • We invite others to relate to our specific of them, instead of passively expecting their rules to apply.

  • We relate to what we can specifically do for each other, replacing overgeneralized expectations slipping into disappointment.

We relate mostly in terms of what we expect of each other. It’s next to impossible to interact with others who totally disregard our needs.

Value + Relating = respecting each other’s known needs

When put together as value relating we mean “respecting each other’s known needs.” When you express your needs to me, you give me opportunity to be of value to you. When I respond to them agreeably, we create value for each other.

At a bare minimum, we need basic respect for each other. Social predictability. No violence. Personal space. The further apart we mean to each other the more we rely on laws, social customs, ethical guides, and the like.

The more we mean to each other, from satisfying each other’s needs, the more value we relate to each other. The more we know and serve each other’s specific preferences the more value we give, and get., from each other.

In other words, we’re responding better to each other’s needs. Our tagline captures this spirit. Through education, counseling and consulting, Value Relating serves your underserved need for psychosocial support.

Valuing each other

We need each other. Wellness is psychosocial. Value Relating uniquely provides psychosocial support instead of personal or social support. It fills a need not readily served by other options.

What do you need of us now? If you need me delve further into what we mean by value relating then you will be served in the next post. May you find if of value.

If not, then please pass it on. Perhaps you know someone who can benefit from this fresh perspective. That’s how value spreads, right? And we value you for reading this. Thank you.


Steph launched Value Relating to fill a gap in both the private and public sector. Value Relating is a new kind of psychosocial support service. We focus on the needs involved in how we relate to each other. We see this vital point typically missing in other options. Including our polarized politics, explained in an eCourse that applies this new paradigm. So we welcome you to follow in any and all of our social media.

Steph is a self-described transspirit, which is a kind of sacred misfit. By transcending conventional limits—gender norms, religious identities, political polarities, and more—Steph experiences a unique connection in life. And suspects others do as well. This blog shares that spirituality, and affirms others of a similar state of being.

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