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replacing divisive politics

Unpack Politics, Reverse Polarization, E

I'll be your


If your career revolves in any way around politics, this tool could be indispensable.


Understanding politics

Which do you think is more likely?

You freely chose your political positions after reasoning each option.


You're compelled to choose political positions that best fits your needs.

Unique to Value Relating is connecting politics to your specific experience of prioritized needs.

Politics gets defined as

"the art of generalizing

how to agreeably relieve needs

in differing social situations"


Until you understand how politics exists to express shared public-facing needs, you cannot really understand politics. If your career revolves in any way around politics, this tool could be indispensable.

Psychosocial orientation

Only here will you fully grasp political views as the outward expression of your inward prioritized psychosocial needs. 

  • WIDE.  See how those with prioritized social-needs lean politically leftward. They experience a "wide" psychosocial orientation. Their needs pull them to focus on wider relationships.

  • DEEP.  See how those with prioritized self-needs lean politically rightward. They experience a "deep" psychosocial orientation. Their needs pull them to focus on deeper relationships.

See how needs come first. How arguments emerge later. Any argument not fitting the needs likely gets ignored, or opposed.

Range of prioritized needs

Once you see the link between inner orientation and its outer expression as political sides, see how differences within each side pulls at the fabric of party unity. Find a range of psychosocial orientations. Find yours.


Only here will you see the distinction between elites and the populace anchored in how resource access imbalances our psychosocial needs.

Political elites cannot adequately relate to the pain of their populace constituents, and these voters are tired of being passed over by political elites prioritizing others.


Eight key issues

Only here can you compare how liberals and conservatives experience political issues without favoring one or the other.

Check out the PDF sample to see how the tool likes after filling in all the interactive elements. Yours will look much different after you fill in the white fields with your own relevant responses.

After downloading and exploring the tool, invite us to guide you through it.


Inform you

I provide you this free information you can only get by downloading it here on Value Relating. It's your DIY option, at no out of pocket costs to you.


Guide you

I walk you through this tool to show you how best to use it. All by SMS text messaging over our phones. I serve as your personal tutor, guiding you through a new way to understand politics.


Support you

I show you how to optimize the tool to make the most of its information, using Zoom. I serve as your personal coach, to show and inspire you how to use this information in your life.


Advocate for you

I grow your value by contacting others on your behalf with your tool-provided information. I serve as your public advocate, to lead the way for resolving your needs.

See these options in more detail at our consulting page

The problem of divisive politics:

Getting stuck inside the political divide


Your politicized needs remain lost in the shuffle of divisive ideologies. 

You've probably lost some friends and lost touch with family members over political differences. Old college friends "defriended" you on social media. Keeping politically silent can be next to impossible if politics is part of your job. 

  • Perhaps you ran for local office and lost. Or won the seat, but lose political battles. 

  • Maybe you're a political pundit struggling to "get" the other side. 

  • You run a news outlet and need to expand your readership or viewership to include all political views, but you still alienate large swaths of your potential audience.

  • You're a counselor struggling to remain impartial with a client expounding views opposed to yours, and have lost at least one client over it.

  • As a public servant you're supposed to strive for political neutrality, but you get repeatedly pulled into unavoidable political conflicts.

Yes, I've painted a depressing picture for you, and it pulls you outside of your comfort zone. Are you ready to move beyond old generalizations about politics to face all of your options?

Your options

You basically swing back and forth between two nasty options, causing you to miss your best and third option.

  1. Avoidance options - to endure the initially mild yet mounting pain of persisting annoyance to avoid the sharper pain of open conflict.

  2. Adversarial (or belligerence) options - to relieve the pain by fighting the apparent source of that pain. 

  3. Conciliatory options - to remove the pain by solving the problem by resolving the underlying needs.

Consider first the problems you face within the typical first two options.

Your poor options with divisive politics

Value Relating helps pull you out of the passive-aggressive cycle between your limiting avoidance options and your limited adversarial options. We show you how neither option allows you sufficient space to resolve the needs causing you pain.

Your avoidance options to avoid further pain

Your avoidance options says you can

  • continue loathing others of political extremes, or those politically different from you, while keeping it all quietly boiling up within

  • keep telling yourself you should be a rugged individual and just accept your political fate

  • continue avoiding the touchy topic of politics in polite company

  • avoid raising subjects seen as "too political"

  • listen to another express their view while privately discounting all of it as nonsense

Your adversarial options to relieve your pain

Your adversarial options says you can

  • argue your political point enough to feel you've said enough to be understood

  • cling to debunked idea that we rationally choose our political views, so you can denounce others who you see failing to be as rational as you

  • cling to reductive narrative that people are stuck thinking tribal, because then you should be able to change their tribal thinking

  • cling to reductive narrative of echo chambers, because if you expose them to alternative views they'd be less ideological (turns out the opposite is true)

  • insist political foes pay attention to your championed needs without ever offering to focus on theirs

  • debate your political opponent on what matters to you while dismissing what matters to them as somehow unimportant or ill-informed

  • prioritize your needs over theirs and get offended when they push back with their overlooked needs

  • expose your confirmation bias and other biases as if others don't see through it

  • do opposition research on your opponent to "go negative"

  • argue with facts and figures as if any facts or figures from the other side can't count for much

  • invest heavily in media exposure to try to expand your base and wonder why this isn't having significant impact

  • dismiss your political opponents as morally stupid, or as mentally ill, or evil, or worse.

Your better options with Value Politics

Your conciliatory options to resolve needs to remove pain

Your conciliatory options say you can

  • try to understand their prioritized needs and their pain when such needs get repeatedly overlooked

  • realize political differences remain anchored in contrasting needs that no debate can change

  • appreciate how they experience their politicized needs naturally differ from how you experience yours

  • see how living in more densely populated areas create a different priority of needs than living in a less populated area

  • see how traditional forms of social cohesion are deeply important to some, while seeing how liberation from stifling traditional norms is deeply important to others

  • realize how a rush to political compromise can miss relating more authentically to impacted needs, which can later create valuable opportunities

  • appreciate how life is typically too busy for most to fully research every political issue, and how your affirmation of this can attract them to your messaging

  • present a willingness to put their needs first if they can appreciate what that could cost you and others similarly situated

  • demonstrate gratitude when they give your space (even if compelled by voting results) to put your political priorities momentarily ahead of theirs

  • demonstrate proactive political leadership by affirming the clashing needs on all sides while respecting the costs to those whose priorities must wait 

We'll unpack the pros and cons of each. We want to pursue the best conciliatory option, especially the easiest one to reach that can promise to produce the quickest result in with the least investment of limited resources. 

We look forward to boosting your competitive political advantage through optimizing this tool. There is far more to share than can be squeezed into this spreadsheet tool.


Book a session to let us us guide you, support you, or advocate for turning political challenges into opportunities to spread some love.

What is your goal?

What need do you hope to resolve by the time we are finished? 

How often can we virtually meet?

We anticipate you starting with an hour or half-hour session per week. If you need more, we can accommodate. We can even set up a project-based or value-based consultancy agreement, if this hour-based approach proves too constricting. We look forward to serving your political needs.

Until then, do check out my Udemy course that covers this content in more detail. Together, we'll replace bitter divisive with competitive love. If we don't, who will?

Edited Image 2018-02-17 05-46-18

Politics Defused: Understanding Divisive Politics


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See if any of these free tools help you resolve needs, remove pain, and uplift your life. As we grow we will be adding more of these.

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