Value Relating text

 

Value Relating introduction

 

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Value Relating is a new kind of enterprise. We seek to build bridges between those who are stressed by daily pressures and those in a position to do something about it.
 
We provide an alternative to an adversarial conflict. We help each to see value in the other, and avoid wasting precious resources tearing each other down defensively.
 
If we could better understand each other and our diverse needs, we could be of more value to one another. Value Relating exists to create that value nurturing bridge.
Stressors are readily recognized as contributors to poor mental health outcomes, as in adjustment disorder. Traditional therapy, however, normally seeks to help the client acclimate to the stressor. It is a Western privileged belief, crystallized in norms, that therapy seeks to change the individual rather than seeking to change the social or cultural contexts involved.
 
Value Relating (VR) challenges this norm. VR empowers clients enduring or suffering stressors to challenge the status quo of such stressors. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and powerless to do anything about such stressors, VR helps the source of such stressors to act in their best interest to alleviate these stresses.
 
This aims for the individual and collective wellness of the stressor source, known in VR as the Impactor. They too have wellness needs, and being culpable to poor wellness outcomes of others can easily undermine their own wellness needs.
Value Relating:  a hybrid between consulting and counseling, with the focus not on individuals but upon the relation between them, specifically the impact each has on one another’s felt needs.

Value Relating recongizes this diversity of value, all the while affirming the fact that...

By "value" we basically mean need-response.

 
 

Value Relating

Value Relating Believes - What we affirm

Value Relating Offers - What we do

Value Relating Narratives - Who we are

 

Value Relating Process

Value Relating Partners

Value Relating Price Plans

Value Relating believes

 

We Need Each Other

 

even when we don't seem valued.

We experience "value" in how we experience one another's reponses to our needs. The more responsive another seems to be to your need the more value they hold for you. The less responsive to your need the less value you tend to see in them.

my needs
their needs
our needs

Value Relating primarily addresses sociogenic factors contributing to poor wellness outcomes. By "sociogenic" we mean "orignating from social" factors. We complement the vast amount of services already addressing psychogenic and biogenic factors.

 

By overemphasizing internal factors we needlessly stigmatize those overwhelmed by external factors. Wellness slips out of reach when factors beyond our control crash into on our capacities to survive, and limiting our chances to thrive. Indeed, we wonder why there is less or no stigma upon external culprits negatively impacting our wellness.

Wellness is psychosocial. Where there is a lack of mental health issues we can expect to find a balance between healthy autonomy and social connection. Between self-resiliency and reliable social supports. It's a beautiful balance between internal and external supports.

 

The notion that mental health is squarely within the individual is an artifact of Western rugged individualism. This individualism myth emerged in response to the oppressive nature of medieval religion centuries ago. To get caught in either extreme cannot be good for our personal and shared well-being.

 

Value Relating exists to encourage that needed balance.

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Value = need responsiveness.

When we respond to another's need or needs, we become valueable to them in the giving value sense.

 

However, we are limited in the number of people we can personally know, to be most responsive to their needs.

 

normative alienation

overgeneralizing

binary thinking

 
Value Relating believes

 

Our Value Gets Lost in Alienation

 

even when laws try to .

Imagine for a moment what it must be like to be in a group where everyone knows one another's needs at all time. No rules are necessary, as each immediately helps each other reslolve their latest needs. Value Relating gravitates toward this ideal.

Value Relating
norm relating
value demanding

Agreed upon rules for how to relate to one another, in order to respect one another's needs.

Demands to respond to the needs presumably expressed in our formal or informal agreements.

Responding to one another's needs as they present themselves in the moment.

Impacted by the needs and norms of the more influential
Impacting the needs and norms of the less influential.

Value = need responsiveness.

When we respond to another's need or needs, we become valueable to them in the giving value sense.

 

However, we are limited in the number of people we can personally know, to be most responsive to their needs.

 

normative alienation

overgeneralizing

binary thinking

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Value Relating believes

 

Power Corrupts Wellness

 

even when power is kept accountable.

We experience "value"

"IMPACTOR"

Value Relating primarily addresses power differentials. The person or entity enjoying signficant influence over another's life we call the "Impactor." The one who endures this impact, often with invisible impact upon their wellness outcomes, we call the "Impactee." Value Relating pursues a nonadversarial approach toward helping each other be more responsive to one another's needs.

"IMPACTEE"

A Power Differential Can Be Balanced

 

In other words, power corrupts value.

 

 

 
 

The process is geared toward the Impactee.

After submitting your profile,

adversarial relation
Value Relating believes

 

Morality is Relative to Need

 

even when "right" and "wrong" seem so absolute.

We only label anything "bad" or "good" if it relates to some need. Anything that doesn't touch on some need in at least some small way does not get labelled good or bad. A rock tumbling through space is not bad, for example, but one tumbling toward you is.

Emotion conveys needs. The unpleasantness of pain or unfulfilled desire we generally regard as bad, communicating something is not right in its current state. We experience relief or pleasure generally as good, communicating a preferred state of being.

"bad" is either
"good" is either

 

the BAD of persistent Pain

Roused by too much or too close of something or someone felt as a threat against continued functioning.

or

the BAD of unfulfilled Desire

Roused by too distant or tool little of something or someone felt as required for continued functioning.

 

the GOOD of Relief from Pain

React to remove whatever is felt as too close or too much of a threat against continued functioning.

or

the GOOD of Pleased Desire

React to replenish whatever is felt as depleted or missing that is required for continued functioning.

Need experience is basically a homeostatic experience, of the body seeking to maintain optimal balance in relation to interactions with its environments.

 

The more something necessary for functioning gets depleted, the more we experience this as a desire, prompting it to be replinished. Once adequately replenished we experience this generally as pleasure.

 

The more something threatens functioning with its excess, the more we experience this a a pain, prompting it to be removed. Once adequately removed we experience this generally as relief.

 

Outside of these four directions of emotions, conveying needs, there is no "good" or "bad." What we often call good or bad refers to the items involved in this homeostatic experience through emotions.

Value can be emotional when expressing a deprived need.

Value Relating believes

 

In Your Dreams

 

even when you feel like giving up on them.

After we receive sufficient information about  your reported power differential, we guide you through the steps necessary to turn this unequal relation into one of mutual value.

1. Speak truth to power to invite attention to the need.
2. Offer to mutually resolve one another's needs.
3. Work together to resolve each other's needs.
adversarial options
adversarial default
Value Compact
Value Proposition
Value Grievance
Value Grievance examples
Value Prop/Plan examples
Value Compact examples

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Value Relating believes

 

You're Worth Your Keep

 

even when the "system" seems rigged against you.

IMPACTEE
IMPACTOR
Value Outcome
Value Impact

Instead of

resigning to stressful economic conditions,

 

Value Relating offers

to help you change economic relations toward your favor.

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Value Relating believes

 

In Focusing a Few Key Areas

 

even when there are many needs to serve.

Economic Value

Sponsorship - Mentorship - Partnership

Political Value
Justice Value
IMPACTEE

Instead of

resigning to stressful economic conditions,

 

Value Relating offers

to help you change economic relations toward your favor.

Instead of

resigning to the paralysis of political polarization,

 

Value Relating offers

to address the relational needs behind political biases.

Instead of

suffering the limits baked into the adversarial justice process,

 

Value Relating offers

to restore relations by prioritizing one another's relevant needs.

IMPACTOR

Instead of

alienating your audiences with your inaccurate assumptions,

 

Value Relating offers

to help you proactively impact  your many audiences.

Instead of

getting frustrated by the apparent ignorance of your political foes,

 

Value Relating offers

opposition research that gives you insight into their needs.

Instead of

subjectively objectifying parties as solely adversarial,

 

Value Relating offers

to improve objectivity in how we treat all human subjects.

Instead of treating just the individual, as if all our problems are only in our heads, Value Relating offers to treat the relations between us, since wellness is psychosocial. Instead of suffering from our limiting overdependence upon rugged individualism, Value Relating offers to bridge the divide between influential stressors and the vulnerably stressed. Toward the goal of bringing out more of the bottled up value and energy within us all.

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